Winter 2010

Hello all!!
Been a while since my last update, thought I would let you know how my extern was going!! I am down to 42 hours over the next three weeks, shouldn't be too bad! It's going really good, really enjoying it! The only downside of this whole thing is that my office won't be able to hire me. I'm really bummed about it! They have told me multiple times now that they would love to hire me but unfortunately with them being a non-profit, medicaid only office, they don't have the funds to hire another assistant. :( Kinda sucks.. Oh well, I know there is an office out there for me where I will fit in perfectly and is the right place for me! Just have to trust God and wait on Him! Looking forward to the next couple weeks, they are going to fly by!
The holidays have been wonderful so far! Had a great Thanksgiving with family and friends. Chris was gone for what turned into a month in Kansas and that was hard, he actually got home just a week and a half or so ago. So nice to have him home again! That made the holiday season come up very quickly! We didn't actually get our tree till last week which was weird for me since I'm used to the day after Thanksgiving! I love Christmas! Our house is all decorated and now with our tree up it just glows.. Looove! Finally got my Christmas shopping done, I've decided I'm never going to wait that long again, the pickings were slim! I am pretty pleased with what I got for Chris! Unfortunately, I'm waiting on some things to get here, hopefully in time!! They kinda screwed it up in shipping and it may take a bit to get here, which stinks, I wanted to give it to him for Christmas!! Oh well, here's hoping!
We're also planning a trip to see my folks!! Hoping for mid January!! So not much longer, woohoo!!
So there it is, a little update! Merry Christmas!!
Beth

A break, finally!

Wow, done with the class part of school! It's so weird, honestly. I can't believe it's over and the dreaded extern is almost here! I'm getting excited tho, hurray! As of now, still don't know where I'm going. Pretty frustrated with my school right now... I feel like they didn't try real hard to make sure I had a place when I was supposed to! So yeah, I should find out sometime this week and it couldn't come sooner. I am dying to know and would love to be able to plan! So this week is all about relaxing and preparing! I have a whoole week of nothing and it's wonderful! The only sad thing is Chris is gone for the next 7-10 days in KS working! I'm so sad. :( Thankfully I have a wonderful second family to stay with! My in-laws rock!
Here are the last few days of my days of truth.. I'm ahead by one day but didn't feel like adding on to it later.. haha!
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life? Traveled more! I loooove old places/history and would love to travel all over the world!

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs.. I would make a playlist to Chris of all our songs that mean something to me, or remind me of the times we spent together! I don't feel like writing all the songs out.. sorry!

Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today? I don't know!

Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? lol, no not really. I've had it pretty easy all my life and the only times I have ever felt depressed I realized I was being super self-centered and lame. Life is what you make it!

Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now? I'm done with school and moving on in my career! It's exciting! I have an amazing husband and life is good!

Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do? CRY. From sheer terror..

Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why. Weelll.... I would change my self control! I wish I had more of it!!

Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
I don't feel like doing this one to be honest. Sorry! And this IS all about the truth right? ha!

Well, hopefully I will know about my externship tomorrow!

~Beth

Two days folks!

Two days!! Oh my goodness!!!
Unbelievable! It's almost here woohoo! Thank God the nerves have subsided a bit, my stomach doesn't hurt every day like it was lol! I'm starting to get kinda excited actually.. I'm sure I'll be freaking out my first day tho haha!
Here are the last couple days I missed:

Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without? People that bring me down! I want to surround myself with encouraging friends and my wonderful family!

Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something? The Bible obviously! Other than that, I have really enjoyed the Bodie Thoene books on times during the bible, it really made me view Jesus as more of a person that you could connect with and bond with.

Day 18: Your views on gay marriage? No.. I believe you should love everyone, that no sin is worse than another, but I don't believe it's right.

Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? I'm a Christian and believe Jesus is the son of God and my Saviour!! And a steadfast Republican even when I hate politicians..

Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol? I used to believe neither of both. Still believe that drugs are never a good idea to get into, not only because of the havoc it has on your body, but how uncontrollable they are. You cannot do drugs in moderation. Alchohol in moderation I think is ok. I'll indulge in a drink, I won't ever go out and get wasted tho.

Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do? If she is ok, I'll be there, making it up to her and helping her realize that it was just a fight, that I love her and she means so much to me!!

Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life? Wasted so much time doing NOTHING when I was younger... :( And I wish I would have been ok with Chris being a police officer while we lived in Colorado.. Maybe then we would have never moved.. I kick myself over that all the time..

Well, Chris will be gone for a few days in KS working. I'm kinda sad. I finally get time off of both work AND school, which hasn't happened in 7 months.. And he's gone the week I have off.. Oh well, I'm going to make the best of it and spend it with my wonderful in-laws! It will be nice and relaxing, which I def. need after the craziness of the last month!! I'll see him this weekend, so that will break it up a bit, thankfully!
Well, I'll be updated soon after I find out where I'm externing!!

Love,
~ME

One more week..

Wow, time is flying and I'm getting behind!! Here are the last TEN days of truth! Goodness!

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do: As morbid as this sounds, I hope I die before Chris does in this life. I never want to be without him.

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for: Jesus, Chris and my mom. I know that's three people, but they have been so instrumental in my life and are my rocks.

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap: Honestly, I won't name names but you remember what was it, day 5 or something? The two girls? Yeah, those two..

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted: I feel like my Colorado people are drifting.. It's been almost a year since I've seen everyone. My family, my best friend and like it or not, being 800 miles away just sucks..

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know: Honestly I feel like right now I'm surrounded by good people in my life! I'm blessed!

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on: it's either: you have a booty! Or, I wish I had your butt.. Sometimes just a statement or yeah.. not sure if it's a compliment! I've also had compliments on my smile..

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on: I like my eyes, but no one else seems to notice.. haha!! Chris does, that's all that matters right?

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days: Hm.. Not sure actually. I remember a lot of breaking benjamin when me and Chris were long distance, it was melancholy and nice.

Day 14: A hero that has let you down: Jesus is my hero and He doesn't let me down..

Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it: Like I said, I would not and would never want to live without my Chris. Long distance SUCKED and the idea of not having him in my life is awful.

Well, only about a week left. Nerves are setting in.
Beth

Day 2, 3 and 4

So in continuing my 30 days of truth... Missed a few days, it's been going really fast and furious so time just slips out of my hands! So here are a few days combined..
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.

Something you love about yourself:
I love that if I put my mind to something, I can accomplish it. I feel empowered by self motivation and like I can do anything if I want it bad enough! I don't always want it bad enough which may be my problem haha!

Something you have to forgive yourself for:
Hm. This might sound funny... But I need to forgive myself for not doing anything with my life before meeting Chris. I feel like I let too much time slip away when I could have been going to school or traveling or missions or something. I think I let fear hold me back and so I never pursued my dreams or really much of anything other than working dead end jobs. In no way do I regret my time with Chris, or how young I was when we started dating, I'm talking about before then and also while we were dating and before we got married.. I could have done a lot more..

Something you have to forgive someone for:
Wow.. I had a horrible experience with a couple of so called friends who did a lot of backstabbing.. I still feel hurt and anger about that and I know I need to get over it. Kind of hard sometimes when I still "see" them on FB or something and they are best friends now and I was kicked to the curb after introducing them.. It's hard. IT'S ALSO VERY LAME that I'm still upset about it.. It was like a 1-2 year long thing that just dragged out which is maybe why I'm still hurt. I don't know if the hurt will ever go away, but I need to get rid of the bitterness since it's only hurting myself.

Anyways, I gotta run, school today! Then the weekend, woohoo!
Beth

30 days of truth

So I found this on a friends blog and decided to do it. 30 days I'll answer 30 questions about myself. May not be able to blog every day, but I will answer all those questions haha! Here they are if you are interested in doing it yourself!

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like crap.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Ok so day one..
What is something I hate about myself..
I hate how critical I am of myself. There is really soo much I could put here, and that just goes to show you how critical I am of myself! I don't give myself a break, I'm incredibly hard on myself telling myself that I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, etc. I have to stop myself mid-sentence sometimes and force those thoughts away because I know they are damaging to me! God made me exactly how He wanted me and I'm flawless in His eyes. I know that every time I comment on something in my head that puts me down, HE hurts, because I'm beating up His design! That is what I hate about myself.. But I'm working on it... And all the other things too..

So in the life of Beth..
Not much new really. Only about 3 weeks left of school. Psyching out now.. Have to tell myself to breath, and NOT beat myself up haha! I'm already pep-talking myself in case I go somewhere awful. I'm going to be upbeat! AND SUCK UP! haha! No really, I'm already planning on doing my best, learning something every day, working on what I need to get better at, and not letting people bring me down. Only 160 hours and hopefully they are a wonderful 160 hours!
Hard to believe it's almost here.. Seems like yesterday I started and was all nervous about school! And they are like family now, made some friends and it's been so wonderful going with Jenny and getting to know her better. I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful sister in law who I can really talk to and freak out with and be excited with!! What a blessing God has given me in her!! Love you Jenny! ;) It's so awesome to truly love my extended family, all of them! I get along great with all my sister in laws and mother in law and of course all the boys haha! So lucky!!
God is good.. All the time.. Have to keep telling myself when the going gets tough. He is our provider and what a good one He is!

Much love,
Beth

E0B629D5-32E6-B958-87E8-5832CC257D35

1.02.05

Fall!

Holy cow,
It's FALL!!! Where did summer go?! Totally felt like I wasn't able to truly enjoy summer because of school.. oh well, it was worth it and hopefully next summer I'll be working and able to enjoy it even more! ha! Next year is going to be so different!
Only a month and a half left folks! 5 1/2 months went entirely too fast. Good and bad really. Can't believe it! Things are going really good still, finally feeling like I'm starting to know my stuff a bit more. Still have a looot to learn and it will be hard first starting out in a real office environment! Please be praying for me to be placed in a good office with a dentist that is patient and willing to teach me and doesn't freak out over little things. I keep hearing scary stories of other people in extern getting a scary dentist/office manager and that just terrifies me! I know that it isn't permanent and if I keep a positive and teachable attitude it will help but yeah.. mean dentists are just scary! So I'm pretty nervous about that.. And also pray for confidence and for me to not be insanely nervous haha! It's going to be here before I know it!
Life has been good lately! Work is really slow for Chris so that has been hard, but God sustains us and has been so good. We are not lacking in anything! :) He is still working towards getting his GRE in Pyschology. He's been studying like crazy! If he does good on this test it would cut down his school time a LOT and that would be a good thing since we are down to about 9 months till he would hopefully be starting academy! So pray for him on October 9th if you think about it!
I'm also preparing for a big test on the 8th. My Missouri Basic Skills test is that day! If I can pass that it opens the door for me to continue my education and have a chance to improve my skills in other areas called expanded functions. Basically that means depending on the classes I choose I can do more than just an average DA. Which would be awesome! Still getting straight A's at school, it's exciting!! Looks good on a resume too.. ;)
So coming up here soon we are going up to KC for a Chiefs vs. Bronco's game with some friends! It's going to be CRAZY cold, but I can't wait! GO Broncos!!
Well, I'm off to the gym!
Love,
Beth

Almost there!

Almost there!! In more ways than one! Only one more day till Chris is home again, can't wait!! It's been hard having him away... :( I definitely love living with him!! So he'll be home tomorrow night and I'm stoked.. :) I have a great husband!
The other thing that I'm getting really close to, is finishing school!!! I am down to 3 1/2 months! I cannot believe it.. The time is literally flying by and it's so hard to believe that in less than 4 months I'll be working in a dental office! Not sure yet what the plan is for after extern, but I'm really trying to trust God to work something out!! I want Him to show me what He has in store!! I just want it now.. I don't like waiting and not knowing... But, there is nothing I can do about it so the only thing I CAN do is trust Him!! I'm excited and nervous all at the same time! Ready to get out there and get er' done!
Very much looking forward to this weekend! We're going camping with the family Friday night and then Chris and I are going for our date night to the drive in!! Loooove the drive in!! I literally HAVE to go every summer or it's just not summer!
Last weekend was really fun! Went up to the fam's house for the night and got to see everybody! Had family pictures taken and Crystal took some pics of me and Chris as well! I love getting new pics, plus, she takes amazing ones so it's even better!!

Well, just wanted to give a quick update.. :)
Beth

Success!

Success is a wonderful word!! I think I like it! My success recently has been finally losing my wedding weight! I'm incredibly stoked to be back down to my small sizes and finally feeling healthy again! It took a lot of work and self control but I am BACK! WOOT! Now to tone, gotta hit the gym and really see what I can do! Still working with the Jillian Michaels workouts, heard they work awesome for women and I'm super excited for more results! Now to stick with it.. hard when you like any and all food haha! There IS such a thing as self control.. hmm... gonna have to remember that.. So worth it tho..
Well, hubby is gone right now.. Off in Arkansas helping a friend out for a few days.. Weird being home alone! Kinda lonely.. I decided I'm not a person who could live all by myself! I like company.. :)

School is going good, can't believe how fast it is going! But the more time I spend in school the more I'm ready to just get out there and get my career started! Sooo nervous about those first couple months... Once you are there and in the field, I feel like you really don't know what you're doing.. But I just want it to be here so I can get the awkwardness out of the way haha!

So Chris has been looking into the schooling he'll need for the State Patrol out here.. Kind of daunting, but I know he can do whatever he puts his mind too.. I'm so nervous of those six months he'll be at the academy.. If the prospect of being alone for the next couple days is sad and lonely, what will it be like to have him gone for 5 out of 7 days a week for 6 months?? I know we'll cross that bridge when we come to it tho. I'm hoping I'll have a job by then to keep me mostly occupied so it doesn't seem so lonely. At least I'll know he's safe, unlike so many wives who's husbands are overseas in the military. I am thankful for that!

Things have been so wonderful lately. I have the most amazing husband and I'm so blessed to have him. He came home with flowers for me the other day, out of the blue, no prompts or anything! Makes me feel so special to know he was thinking of me during his day!
Love him.. :)

On the creative side, got my table runner back after a little while at the quilters... Needless to say.. It's super cute! Albeit a little crooked, but who's looking that close?? Creative I am not haha! I may be a bit of a perfectionist in other areas, but definitely not when it comes to quilting! ;) Thanks to my wonderful mother in law and sis in law for all the help, I would seriously be lost otherwise haha!

Well, I am off! Not sure of my plans for the evening.... Kinda weird not hanging out with Chris! Miss him!!
Hope everyone's week is going fantastic!!
Beth

Things...

I always seem to let blogging get away from me.. I just forget about it! I need to do better. It's almost like journaling for me! Helps me to go back and remember moments in life!
Things have been different lately. I'm getting worn out. School is going good, and quickly, but I am so tired all the time that it's getting old. School + work for five days a week is getting tiring, but it's what you do! And I can't complain about my job, it really is the ideal thing for me right now! God is good. I just need to push through and look for the good instead of being down about the situation. Thing are never as bad as they seem. Haha! I can't complain, we are in good hands and I live in a great house with my wonderful little family. Chris is really the brightest part of my days, he is so wonderful. We just celebrated our first year together!! He surprised me with a trip to Branson for the weekend at this great little resort where we stayed in a fully stocked condo! It was amazing. I seriously love him more every day. He makes me laugh like no one else!
So things are kind of weird right now. The unknown is so great and weighing on me and I'm trying not to stress out about it. Work is slow for Chris so he has really been looking into the State Patrol more seriously. Things are just so up and down with it, hopes getting up, then down and all over the place that it is just hard not knowing what to do. Be praying we know what the next step is. I do NOT do good with the unkown. I'm terrible with it! I stress and worry and that's never good. I'm trying to just not think about it haha!
Sooooo yeah....
Other than this strange period in our lives things are good! Had a great 4th of July at I love America with a bunch of friends and family!! Chris' leg was feeling good enough for him to play volleyball! Praise God! So glad that stage of his life is pretty much over, that was a hard time to go through! He is definitely excited to move on from that! I am so glad he is almost back to fully functioning, I know it was hard for him.
I'm super excited for the 16th-18th, our first float trip! Can't wait! I've never been and I looove camping so I'm very excited to add canoeing to that. The only thing I'm nervous for: BUGS. BUGS. BUGS. YUCK. lol! I am such a wuss! We have Japanese beatles literally EATING all of our plants right now. Can't get rid of them.. So gross... They are making all our foliage look skeletal. I'm considering bringing my tea rose bush inside to rescue it! I've been watching it closely to make sure they haven't moved on to it yet.. I would be so sad! It's literally the little rose bush that could! Immediately after planting it Bailey decided to dig around in the pot and eat the blooms off of it... SO YEAH.. Somehow it lived!! So I'm ultra protective now haha!
Anyways, I think that's it for tonight.. I gotta go look at my vocab for school tomorrow... *sigh*... lol.. Think positive thoughts! Haha!!
Love,
Beth

Life is wonderful

Wow,
These last couple weeks have been pretty awesome! So hard to believe that we are almost done with a month of school! Only about 6 months left! Our teacher resigned.. which was really sad.. She was pretty awesome, so we'll see how I feel about school in the next couple weeks haha! God is good and He placed me here so He has a plan!
I was able to see my wonderful mom last week... It was so nice. The weekend went crazy fast, which I knew it would, but it was better than not getting to see her at all! We are hoping in September possibly to make a trip out to Colorado! Chris hasn't seen our Colorado friends in almost a year! It will be another super short trip, but I'm so lucky to be able to see them as much as I do already. I have a lady in my class who just saw her mother for the first time in 7 years this weekend!! CRAZY!! I couldn't imagine going that long!
Today my lovely husband is taking me for a much needed date and scrub shopping outing!! We're trying a couple different places to see if I can find some cute scrubs for cheap. We are required to wear them to school so it's kinda important to have decent ones lol! I've been wearing the school issued ones and wow... I look like a boxy bag.. haha! I am liking it so far! It's so crazy how much we are learning.
SO yeah, excited for my date. He's so awesome, I <3 him.. :)
Other than that, not too much so far. It's been a great last week/s and I'm looking forward to summer! Jenny and I are planning on going to the pool after school once it gets nice! Can't wait!
Had our first "real" tornado threat the other day! I was up early working and the sirens went off and I didn't think much of it until I looked outside and WOW.. PITCH black skies!! I was kinda freaking out since it was the first time this had happened... I'm kinda a wuss... So I grabbed Chris and we watched as the sky just POURED and the tv was saying.. get yourself to shelter! haha! Turns out it was nothing and that was the end! Kind of a funny day tho lol.
Well I'm off! Gotta go get pretty for my husband lol! Right now it's not lookin' so hot.. ;)
<3 Beth

If I was a flower growing wild and free all I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee...

Had that song in my head.. :) It's so cute and wistful and makes me think of my wedding lol.
Can't believe we are almost to one year!! It doesn't seem like it's been that long already. I'm so hoping we can take a trip up to Big Cedar for that weekend but I'm also hoping my husband is planning something special, so we'll see.. :) Our first year has been awesome! I think being together for so "long" before we got married really did help. I really feel like we adjusted pretty easy! He's so easy going most of the time so that helps too huh? He evens me out.
So far school has been awesome! One week down! Crazy we'll be done in only 7 months! I am so praying God provides a job soon after school because I'm ready to have a job that will help me and Chris save for a house, save for our Mexico vacation we want to go on someday with all our friends and save for our future! Someday we do want kids and I want to have a few years of working down before we do that so that I can take time off to stay home! Weird to think of someday having kids, I think they will be exact clones of us.. We already look so similar lol! Our kids are going to be little blonde/brown blued eyed kids haha!
Back on the school subject! It's awesome! I'm a little bummed tho, our teacher just resigned and so we only have her for another 2 weeks... and then we get another teacher to finish up our time there! *sigh* kinda sad.. She was SO awesome.. Oh well, God knows and will provide someone awesome for us one way or the other... :) So it's going good! Learning a LOT and very fast, but it's great! I already feel smarter!
Let me tell ya what tho.. Changing my schedule, getting up earlier... I'm such an old lady!! I so hope my body adjusts to this SOON because goodness, being sleepy at 3 in the afternoon is hilarious! Hopefully not too much longer for the internal clock to re-set!
My mom comes this weekend!!! CAN'T WAIT!! Haven't seen her in a couple months, and I miss her! It's gonna be a good weekend! Hopefully I won't have too much homework to try and get done, because it's going to be a short weekend as it is... :(
Well, I'm off! School starts bright and early!
<3 Beth

New Beginnings

Oh my word! SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW!!! The nervousness has eased a bit and I'm getting excited! I don't like the unknown, but I can't keep doing what I've been doing! I am going to just trust God to show me His will for my life! And to provide for us regarding re-paying student loans! UGH! I really think things are going to be changing like crazy in the next year or so. Once school is finished I'll be working (crosses fingers!!) and Chris is looking into doing police work!!
I used to have this list, called the MAN list. On it was all the things I wanted in a man. Well when Chris came along he just fit that list! On it was this tho: Doesn't want to be a police officer, or go into the military. To be honest, yes, it was selfish, but at the time I didn't want that. I didn't want to deal with the stress, the high rate of divorce (not that that would be an option!!) and the risk... It scared me to death. When I first met Chris he wasn't a police officer (which I believe was God's hand in the matter, because if he had been, we wouldn't have courted) which he COULD have been, he had had job offers from around the country after he was out of ALERT.
But I think God wanted him to wait, because we wouldn't have been a couple! So after being married oh lets see... I think it was over six months, God just told me this: TRUST ME. Chris had been talking about looking back into it but knew I was deathly afraid of it and therefore, didn't really do anything about it. But I was laying in bed one Saturday morning, and just thinking about it.. And God was telling me.. You have to trust me, he is mine, not yours and I will take care of him and take him when his time is.
And I remember crying thinking of what life would be like without him if something were to ever happen, and what the sleepless nights would be like with me worrying that he was in danger. But God just gave me a peace and told me to let go and let Him work in Chris' life. So I rolled over to Chris, and told him: if you want to be a police officer, you SHOULD be. I think you would be amazing at it. And I truly believe he would be! He is SO good at so many things, but his passion is to be a police officer! It's his dream job! And I was holding him back, keeping him from his potential life calling! And that is NOT what a wife should be! So in the following months God has continued to tell me to trust Him and He has given me such peace about that next chapter. If Chris does decide to do this, YES, it's going to be hard no matter what. But I do know this: God will guide us through this! So the next year and more will be quite interesting!! So much could change and probably will, crazy to think about! God is so good. He always provides!!
I can't believe summer is almost here!! I'm excited! I wish school wasn't over summer, but hey, it'll be done in 8 months or so so I can't complain! I'll be done by Christmas!
UGH, this morning, I found a black widow in our bathroom.... YUCK! That freaks me out lol.
This next month is going to be a good one. I'm going to KC to see my mom May 7th! I can't wait, I've really been having homesickness lately. I wish I could see everyone I miss, but seeing my mom will be so wonderful.
I think that the longer I'm away from my Colorado the more and more I miss it. It's really the little things:
*The outdoor mall used to screen movies outside and had free popcorn and cotton candy. Me and Brooke would meet up and just hang out in the warm summer air. I miss her so much. *Boating days with my cousins. Miss those guys like crazy. Just bumming around, laying on the outdoor tramp trying to tan, which they were successful at, me... Not so much.
*Sitting outside with my dad in the evenings, watching the sun set.. No bugs..
*Working out with my mom. She is such an inspiration to me.
*Evening runs with my brothers. Hate running, but loved chatting with them!
*"Tanning" with the little girls outside.. They are so cute with their towels and sunglasses lol.
*My "models" always available for a photo shoot!
*Drive in's with my best friends. Laughing till our sides hurt!! There are things I love and am learning to love about MO. But Colorado will always hold that special place in my heart. It's my favorite home.. Well, I'm off.. Sorry for the short novel! Props to you if you finished it! Just had a lot on my mind that I wanted to get out a bit.. haha!
Beth
My Chris took me took our first drive in of the Spring/Summer! The drive in is seriously one of my favorite things ever!! What a sweet husband I have.. :)

Sigh..

I'm so frustrated. I just need a little vent and a little motivation. I would think I have enough motivation, I'm sick and tired of certain things in my life and yet I won't make the effort to change them. I mean honestly..
There are so many things I want but they take time and I seem to be incapable of achieving them! I've not only been frustrated with that but stressed with the whole school thing. I hate that it is so much to go and that is the only thing holding me back. And what if I don't like it?? I'll have spent so much to go through school only to not like what I do for the rest of my career?? I am just confused. I want to KNOW what I'm supposed to do. I want to be told, to be honest. I hate having to choose for myself lol. I'm bad at being an adult haha! So I have been feeling so stressed. I can't get it out of my mind and I can't seem to make UP my mind! I just need to give it over to Jesus and wait on Him. I just want a clearcut decision. Maybe that's too much to ask. I don't know.
I hate feeling down. I just want to have it figured out and to do what I'm supposed to!
This is my decleration: I CAN do this. I CAN be an adult and I will figure this out and do what I need to do to make my life better.
Here is my to do list for the next month:
1. Run three miles. And also, run three times a week.
2. Finish my Jillian Michaels diet with a BANG and to stick to it for the whole 30 days!
3. Decide on/start school or get a job before then.
4. TRUST GOD.
5. Start church hunting more seriously.
6. Work harder on my photography.
7. Be a better wife to my sweetest husband.

Oh in other news besides all that depressing stuff.. (sorry about that btw, it just helps me feel better to get it off my chest)..
I FRIED yesterday! Went walking/running with Jenny and our dogs yesterday and oh my gosh I am red like a lobster! Wow it hurts. And not only after that, I decided to make mashed potatoes for dinner and proceeded to chop part of my finger off with a potato peeler! lol! Ok not funny it looks so horrible, but the story with it does sound pretty funny. Dancing around my kitchen, wrapping toilet paper and electrical tape around my hand (don't laugh, I was trying to make a big bandaid... Didn't work) and calling both of my mothers trying to find out what to do when you chop you finger up. lol! Wow.. My husband has been SO sweet to me!! He insisted on my sitting down and doing nothing while he proceeded to make dinner for us! And he was so cute bandaging my finger up. :( On top of that, he's been taking care of my sunburn too haha! I am just a mess this week! God is good tho, all the time. :D
I love:
1. The chinese restaraunt down the road from us.. YUM.
2. My wonderful hubby!!
3. Breakfast in bed..
4. Coffee
5. The way running makes me feel when I'm done.
6. Popcorn
7. The way eating healthy makes me feel.
8. My family.. And extended family. I'm so lucky.

30 days

30 Days from now... I'm gonna be RIPPED. At least, that's what Jill says! I sure hope she knows what she's talking about... ha! lol. Today was the first day on the new diet. I desperately need to go shopping!! Otherwise this is gonna kick my butt because I'll have nothing to eat! haha! So shopping day Friday! Big list of all healthy things... weird! I can't wait till day 30!!
So this week is going to fly by, already is as a matter of fact! Yesterday we went and saw Alice in Wonderland with Steve and Jenny. Didn't think I wanted to see that movie, but it was actually pretty good! Tomorrow we head up to the in-laws to see Josh and Anna! :D We'll be staying the night up there and getting in some good family time! We've been going to a Dave Ramsey financial peace course and let me tell you, it's awesome! So many good insights into saving money, etc. I told Chris we'll be millionaires when we're old and all the things we'll be able to do with our millions.. haha!! Let's all hope shall we?? On Friday I might be selling my camera!! I'm so nervous! lol.. I know I know.... I'll get another one, but I'm all nervous it will be a while since I have to save up quite a bit to get the next one. But I cannot WAIT to get the other one!! Ah, my D90.... Sigh.... :) Super stoked...



7 random, wonderful, weird things about my week so far:
1. I made a choice to better myself!
2. I went to the library for the first time in about a year.
3. I got to hang out with my awesome sister in law.. :) (don't worry Jenny, that's not one of the weird things about my week haha!)
4. Went and saw another 3D movie, which I haven't decided I like or not... hmmm... I think it makes my eyes hurt haha! But the movie was good!
5. Got to sleep in, ah.. That's always nice.
6. Might have found someone to buy my camera! Woot! Now for God to provide the rest!
7. Decided I like Sour Skittles more than I thought.. They just make my tongue hurt and my eyes water a bit... lol!

Ok, that's about it... ;)
Beth

Ah Jillian

Wow, I pretty much love Jillian Michaels... I've been doing her No More Trouble Zones, 30 Day Shred and every now and then the killer cardio workout Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. WOW, it's awesome! I've noticed little changes already. I just ordered her 30 day diet book and cannot wait to get started!
I want to get healthy and fit and be in better shape than I was at my wedding! I think I underestimate myself and man, it feels good to start seeing change and to see muscle coming back and to be making a difference in my health. We've been adding so many more veggies to our diet and working on eating more frequently and healthier portions. I am still working on the running thing... Ugh, I wish I loved it! I just need to force myself to get into the habit of it, once I get into the habit of it, like working out, I'll want to do it and need to do it to feel good! I can't wait to reach my goals and to feel good.
So things haven't been to busy lately, just the norm. We've been battling a cold between the both of us, Chris is worse off than I am. I have just the nose thing and he's been feeling way ickier, tired, stuffy... Poor guy. I hope he get's better soon, I know its getting old for him. Tomorrow we go to the Drs. office to get xrays to see how his leg is doing. I'm SO hoping the Dr. gives the okay for him to take the boot off and start rehabilitating his leg. It's going to be a long haul for him, he's lost so much mobility already and it's only been six weeks. It will be so hard the first couple of weeks trying to get back into even walking, much less all the calf exercises he'll need to do in order to get the flexibility back. I'm excited for him to be back to normal tho, these past couple of weeks have been hard on him. You never realize how much you use something until you can't anymore! God has been soo good to us through this whole process and Chris has handled everything so well. We are so blessed.
School starts in about a month and a half! I'm getting excited for the change! Before everything gets 100% finalized I'm going to see about shadowing a dental assistant at a nearby office to see what all I would be doing and if I would like it! I'm excited.
I booked a wedding!! Well, almost haha! She is still working it all out with the parents, who are footing the bill, which I understand! Wow, I'm super stoked! And I'm hoping before the big day I'll have my new camera!! As of now I'm selling my Nikon D70 in hopes of being able to upgrade to the D90!! I'll die of happiness!!

Not too much else at this point, working on another table runner, this time for my kitchen table! I <3 it... :)
Well, I'm off, today is Jillians 30 day shred and then a spinning session! Wish me luck!

Bethany

Motivation

So lately I've been feeling unmotivated... Which is hard because I have too much happening in the next couple of months! First being our 10k!! I am excited for that and can't wait for the added benefits of being in better shape, having a "runners" body (ahh, wonderful!!) and being able to complete something like that! But the road to over 6 miles seems a long way away when I'm huffing and puffing at 2.5!! So I'm going to look up trails here in town and hopefully find something more interesting and less strenuous than the trail we've been running on. Ugh concrete! But that will be fun!! :D
On the other note, we are going to visit schools on Thursday to hopefully get our schooling going by fall semester! Ah that will be amazing! The whole administration process is long and horrible but with someone else to help motivate me to do it I'm hoping it won't be as bad as I remember! Good thing Jenny knows more about it than I do!
So my Colorado trip was simply amazing. I missed Chris a lot, but the time went pretty quickly as we were doing something every day all day that I was there! The wedding was lovely. Brooke looked amazing and I'm still having a hard time believing she is married! We are hoping to have them come and stay with us this summer, I can't wait!
Guess what?? I'm going to be working on my first sewing project! Jenny is going to help me make pillows for the living room! Super excited about that! It's so fun to slowly start getting the house looking more put together! A couple weeks ago Chris and I did paintings together and they turned out really nice! It was fun to hang them up, they pulled the room together nicely.
So my sweetie was so awesome on Valentines day! That was the day I got home from CO and he came to pick me up for the long drive home from Tulsa. On the way he told me that he hadn't been able to get to the store to get me anything, but he would get me something later. I'm not going to lie, I was a little bummed.... But as soon as I opened the door at home I was surprised to see candles, a balloon, chocolates and presents!! It was SOO sweet!!! I have an amazing man and I want to think of that every day so I never forget how blessed I am!
Well, I'm off, I have to force myself to work out at some point today.. There it goes, no motivation! I can do this!
~Beth

The future!

Well, here I am, sitting on my old bed at my old home..Visiting Colorado for my best friends wedding! Haha! So funny how much things can change in a year!! This time last year I was busy wedding planning and working at Express and snowboarding and.. living at home haha! So I'm looking at where I am now. Living in a whole new state, learning whole new roads, places, people. Working from home as a... Medical proofreader?? Not sure if that's what it's called or not.. Not that I mind working this job, it's definitely better than not having a job, they are so hard to come by nowadays, but I want more.. I feel a little dead-ended right now. I would love to have a career and to have a purpose! I love photography but the equipment is so expensive and it takes so long to get a clientele base.. So I'm super excited, looking into new things and school and I have a partner! Jenny and I want to start doing something more meaningful and useful and helpful to our husbands in the area of income. Not that they aren't doing a stupendous job, they are wonderful!!! But how awesome to contribute! So we're looking into various schools, trying to decide where to begin and what to do! Currently we are looking into LPN training or dental assistant training! So we are pretty stoked!!! I can't wait to have something to be proud of. Not that I'm not.. But I didn't do much school, photography takes time to get better and build it up and I need something to feel good about. So that is a new development in my life and I can't wait to see what God has in store!! I've been dying to know His plan for my life and maybe this is where He wants me?? Can't wait to find out!!
In news of our 10k the training is going good! I'm so proud of Jenny!! She never quits! And she is such a motivation to eat better because gosh, she eats nothing but vegetables!! lol.. :D She's awesome, just wanted to let ya know Jenny.. :)
So yes, in Colorado, missing my sweet husband already... So glad to be home in time for our first Valentines day together! We won't get to spend the whole day together, my flight doesn't get in until around 4 or so.. But I'm hoping we can still do something fun to celebrate together. <3 Weird how the second you leave that certain someone's side you already miss them.. It's a short trip which is good in terms of not being gone too long from my honey (especially with his leg!! I'm so afraid he won't eat, haha!! I think he'll be fine tho, he is pretty self sufficient) but bad in terms of not having nearly enough time to see everyone I want to see.. Never enough time.. But I'm just glad to be here!
I can't wait to see my Brookie get married!!! She's so awesome! I get to see her tomorrow!!!
Much love,
Beth

Life...

So the newest development in our lives: Chris broke his leg! BAD.. Literally snapped his fibula in half.. It's just not good timing.. but when IS it good timing to break your leg?? I have to say though... it really was just a hard way to break it, playing tackle football in the snow. Really wishing we had health insurance right now. I know it's not something we could have prevented though. Well.. lol.. maybe we could have haha! Oh well. Right now it's out of our control and in the hands of God. Really needing to trust His timing and His hand right now. I just have to think, there was some reason why this happened and so I will rejoice and be glad in it! Right? The other option is to become sunk in this and let it stress us out and drain our joy. I choose the right! I want to take this time to be with my husband, learn how to serve him more selflessly and with more patience for how he has to be feeling right now. I just feel awful for him having to be on crutches for six weeks. He will be so glad to be rid of it after that! It was just so much of a shock, but this is one of those things that we need to work through together! This can bring us together!!
In other news: I'm going to Colorado in a couple days! Can't wait, missing my family and friends a lot lately. So sad that I've not been able to help out with my best friends wedding planning AT ALL.. I feel like a terrible friend, especially remembering how much she was there for me during all my wedding planning ups and downs. She is wonderful!! So I can't wait to see her and to see all my family and friends! Can't wait to see her get married, she is ready. And I know they simply adore each other so I know it will be wonderful.
That's it for now.. I'm tired..
Beth

The first of many

Wow! I've begun again!
I used to blog a long time ago! Brings back a lot of good memories... I blogged before I met my husband... and he "stalked" me on Xanga before he met ME! I remember him telling me the only reason he was ever on it was because of me... Makes me smile!! I love going back and reading all the little comments we used to leave each other.. And the post he made about us becoming an official couple! I simply adore those little things that make up the beginning of a new life with someone. :)
So now we're married! I believe marriage is the culmination of a dream! About six months into our relationship I knew I wanted to marry him and it was about two years later that we said "I do". That really was and IS my dream. And it's so wonderful to live it! I don't want to be years down the road and fall out of love, that truly terrifies me. The statistics for divorce are so high that it makes you think twice about being married. And the way the media portrays marriage, especially for guys, a drudgery, an ending of fun.. It makes me sad. Marriage is wonderful, a chance to be with the one you love for the rest of your life! The chance to give of yourself, to make yourself a better person. To work on your patience and serving. But it's more than just work, it's the chance to wake up in the arms of the man who stole your heart!! I adore that! Marriage IS work, and we're only 8 months into it! But I plan on working daily to ensure that the spark stays, that he continues to steal my heart in all the little things he subconsciously and knowingly does for me! You have stolen my heart.... Love that song..
Wow... so now that my whole post is on love... lol! Blogging really brings out another side of me, I feel like I can express myself a little better..
Well, I'm off! Gotta get the bod in shape for summer! My sis and law are running a 10k with some friends and only have 3 months to train for it! We are strong tho.. No problem..