I used to have this list, called the MAN list. On it was all the things I wanted in a man. Well when Chris came along he just fit that list! On it was this tho: Doesn't want to be a police officer, or go into the military. To be honest, yes, it was selfish, but at the time I didn't want that. I didn't want to deal with the stress, the high rate of divorce (not that that would be an option!!) and the risk... It scared me to death. When I first met Chris he wasn't a police officer (which I believe was God's hand in the matter, because if he had been, we wouldn't have courted) which he COULD have been, he had had job offers from around the country after he was out of ALERT.
But I think God wanted him to wait, because we wouldn't have been a couple! So after being married oh lets see... I think it was over six months, God just told me this: TRUST ME. Chris had been talking about looking back into it but knew I was deathly afraid of it and therefore, didn't really do anything about it. But I was laying in bed one Saturday morning, and just thinking about it.. And God was telling me.. You have to trust me, he is mine, not yours and I will take care of him and take him when his time is.
And I remember crying thinking of what life would be like without him if something were to ever happen, and what the sleepless nights would be like with me worrying that he was in danger. But God just gave me a peace and told me to let go and let Him work in Chris' life. So I rolled over to Chris, and told him: if you want to be a police officer, you SHOULD be. I think you would be amazing at it. And I truly believe he would be! He is SO good at so many things, but his passion is to be a police officer! It's his dream job! And I was holding him back, keeping him from his potential life calling! And that is NOT what a wife should be! So in the following months God has continued to tell me to trust Him and He has given me such peace about that next chapter. If Chris does decide to do this, YES, it's going to be hard no matter what. But I do know this: God will guide us through this! So the next year and more will be quite interesting!! So much could change and probably will, crazy to think about! God is so good. He always provides!!
I can't believe summer is almost here!! I'm excited! I wish school wasn't over summer, but hey, it'll be done in 8 months or so so I can't complain! I'll be done by Christmas!
UGH, this morning, I found a black widow in our bathroom.... YUCK! That freaks me out lol.
This next month is going to be a good one. I'm going to KC to see my mom May 7th! I can't wait, I've really been having homesickness lately. I wish I could see everyone I miss, but seeing my mom will be so wonderful.
I think that the longer I'm away from my Colorado the more and more I miss it. It's really the little things:
*The outdoor mall used to screen movies outside and had free popcorn and cotton candy. Me and Brooke would meet up and just hang out in the warm summer air. I miss her so much. *Boating days with my cousins. Miss those guys like crazy. Just bumming around, laying on the outdoor tramp trying to tan, which they were successful at, me... Not so much.
*Sitting outside with my dad in the evenings, watching the sun set.. No bugs..
*Working out with my mom. She is such an inspiration to me.
*Evening runs with my brothers. Hate running, but loved chatting with them!
*"Tanning" with the little girls outside.. They are so cute with their towels and sunglasses lol.
*My "models" always available for a photo shoot!
*Drive in's with my best friends. Laughing till our sides hurt!! There are things I love and am learning to love about MO. But Colorado will always hold that special place in my heart. It's my favorite home.. Well, I'm off.. Sorry for the short novel! Props to you if you finished it! Just had a lot on my mind that I wanted to get out a bit.. haha!
Beth
My Chris took me took our first drive in of the Spring/Summer! The drive in is seriously one of my favorite things ever!! What a sweet husband I have.. :)
