Sigh..

I'm so frustrated. I just need a little vent and a little motivation. I would think I have enough motivation, I'm sick and tired of certain things in my life and yet I won't make the effort to change them. I mean honestly..
There are so many things I want but they take time and I seem to be incapable of achieving them! I've not only been frustrated with that but stressed with the whole school thing. I hate that it is so much to go and that is the only thing holding me back. And what if I don't like it?? I'll have spent so much to go through school only to not like what I do for the rest of my career?? I am just confused. I want to KNOW what I'm supposed to do. I want to be told, to be honest. I hate having to choose for myself lol. I'm bad at being an adult haha! So I have been feeling so stressed. I can't get it out of my mind and I can't seem to make UP my mind! I just need to give it over to Jesus and wait on Him. I just want a clearcut decision. Maybe that's too much to ask. I don't know.
I hate feeling down. I just want to have it figured out and to do what I'm supposed to!
This is my decleration: I CAN do this. I CAN be an adult and I will figure this out and do what I need to do to make my life better.
Here is my to do list for the next month:
1. Run three miles. And also, run three times a week.
2. Finish my Jillian Michaels diet with a BANG and to stick to it for the whole 30 days!
3. Decide on/start school or get a job before then.
4. TRUST GOD.
5. Start church hunting more seriously.
6. Work harder on my photography.
7. Be a better wife to my sweetest husband.

Oh in other news besides all that depressing stuff.. (sorry about that btw, it just helps me feel better to get it off my chest)..
I FRIED yesterday! Went walking/running with Jenny and our dogs yesterday and oh my gosh I am red like a lobster! Wow it hurts. And not only after that, I decided to make mashed potatoes for dinner and proceeded to chop part of my finger off with a potato peeler! lol! Ok not funny it looks so horrible, but the story with it does sound pretty funny. Dancing around my kitchen, wrapping toilet paper and electrical tape around my hand (don't laugh, I was trying to make a big bandaid... Didn't work) and calling both of my mothers trying to find out what to do when you chop you finger up. lol! Wow.. My husband has been SO sweet to me!! He insisted on my sitting down and doing nothing while he proceeded to make dinner for us! And he was so cute bandaging my finger up. :( On top of that, he's been taking care of my sunburn too haha! I am just a mess this week! God is good tho, all the time. :D
I love:
1. The chinese restaraunt down the road from us.. YUM.
2. My wonderful hubby!!
3. Breakfast in bed..
4. Coffee
5. The way running makes me feel when I'm done.
6. Popcorn
7. The way eating healthy makes me feel.
8. My family.. And extended family. I'm so lucky.

30 days

30 Days from now... I'm gonna be RIPPED. At least, that's what Jill says! I sure hope she knows what she's talking about... ha! lol. Today was the first day on the new diet. I desperately need to go shopping!! Otherwise this is gonna kick my butt because I'll have nothing to eat! haha! So shopping day Friday! Big list of all healthy things... weird! I can't wait till day 30!!
So this week is going to fly by, already is as a matter of fact! Yesterday we went and saw Alice in Wonderland with Steve and Jenny. Didn't think I wanted to see that movie, but it was actually pretty good! Tomorrow we head up to the in-laws to see Josh and Anna! :D We'll be staying the night up there and getting in some good family time! We've been going to a Dave Ramsey financial peace course and let me tell you, it's awesome! So many good insights into saving money, etc. I told Chris we'll be millionaires when we're old and all the things we'll be able to do with our millions.. haha!! Let's all hope shall we?? On Friday I might be selling my camera!! I'm so nervous! lol.. I know I know.... I'll get another one, but I'm all nervous it will be a while since I have to save up quite a bit to get the next one. But I cannot WAIT to get the other one!! Ah, my D90.... Sigh.... :) Super stoked...



7 random, wonderful, weird things about my week so far:
1. I made a choice to better myself!
2. I went to the library for the first time in about a year.
3. I got to hang out with my awesome sister in law.. :) (don't worry Jenny, that's not one of the weird things about my week haha!)
4. Went and saw another 3D movie, which I haven't decided I like or not... hmmm... I think it makes my eyes hurt haha! But the movie was good!
5. Got to sleep in, ah.. That's always nice.
6. Might have found someone to buy my camera! Woot! Now for God to provide the rest!
7. Decided I like Sour Skittles more than I thought.. They just make my tongue hurt and my eyes water a bit... lol!

Ok, that's about it... ;)
Beth

Ah Jillian

Wow, I pretty much love Jillian Michaels... I've been doing her No More Trouble Zones, 30 Day Shred and every now and then the killer cardio workout Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. WOW, it's awesome! I've noticed little changes already. I just ordered her 30 day diet book and cannot wait to get started!
I want to get healthy and fit and be in better shape than I was at my wedding! I think I underestimate myself and man, it feels good to start seeing change and to see muscle coming back and to be making a difference in my health. We've been adding so many more veggies to our diet and working on eating more frequently and healthier portions. I am still working on the running thing... Ugh, I wish I loved it! I just need to force myself to get into the habit of it, once I get into the habit of it, like working out, I'll want to do it and need to do it to feel good! I can't wait to reach my goals and to feel good.
So things haven't been to busy lately, just the norm. We've been battling a cold between the both of us, Chris is worse off than I am. I have just the nose thing and he's been feeling way ickier, tired, stuffy... Poor guy. I hope he get's better soon, I know its getting old for him. Tomorrow we go to the Drs. office to get xrays to see how his leg is doing. I'm SO hoping the Dr. gives the okay for him to take the boot off and start rehabilitating his leg. It's going to be a long haul for him, he's lost so much mobility already and it's only been six weeks. It will be so hard the first couple of weeks trying to get back into even walking, much less all the calf exercises he'll need to do in order to get the flexibility back. I'm excited for him to be back to normal tho, these past couple of weeks have been hard on him. You never realize how much you use something until you can't anymore! God has been soo good to us through this whole process and Chris has handled everything so well. We are so blessed.
School starts in about a month and a half! I'm getting excited for the change! Before everything gets 100% finalized I'm going to see about shadowing a dental assistant at a nearby office to see what all I would be doing and if I would like it! I'm excited.
I booked a wedding!! Well, almost haha! She is still working it all out with the parents, who are footing the bill, which I understand! Wow, I'm super stoked! And I'm hoping before the big day I'll have my new camera!! As of now I'm selling my Nikon D70 in hopes of being able to upgrade to the D90!! I'll die of happiness!!

Not too much else at this point, working on another table runner, this time for my kitchen table! I <3 it... :)
Well, I'm off, today is Jillians 30 day shred and then a spinning session! Wish me luck!

Bethany